Monday, October 25, 2010

Grief.. in decibels

I can't remember what quiet surrounding means. I am not sure if I can sit in a calm place without noise and still be normal. My mind plays around the sounds of the drills. I sleep listening to the noise. I wake up with a disturbance. I have forgotten the purpose of a window. My window is shut from what it now seems like centuries. I can't slide my curtains aside. My privacy is endangered. My solitude is lost. My room is on the road. I get restless at times. I have constant background noise. At times I pause. Is it my cluttered mind? Or my mind is cluttered with this noise.

The thumping of the hammer. Random strange voices.Music in different languages. Men shouting and howling outside my window.The ever on drilling. I can't live like this anymore. I really can't. The beautiful environs look dull. Trampled. Tortured. The dust everywhere is making my mind itch. My boots have cement traces.  My ears are jammed. I want to take a eraser and rub it all. Rub all the added concrete, the dust, the things that killed this heavenly place. I want to tear down blow up that ramp outside my window on which men,women pace up and down. I have a pent up frustration that is building up like a volcano. I need to get away before I burn out my brain.

I cannot fathom the situation in war struck zone. How do people live there? I cannot take it any longer in simple construction area. When people do stop the work. I still hear the noise. The slightest of sound is like a pick on a nerve of my brain. With every added decibel, my life is strained. Out of curiosity I checked up the decibels of a hammer blow -130dB, that is 20dB less than a shot gun blast. 130dB is 70dB more than a strength of a normal conversation.

I do sympathize with the people actually doing this work. I can't imagine what they go through everyday.But it is their life. Their choices. Their constrains. I have a baggage of my own. I am not a part of this change. I am just a person in the right place at the wrong time. I need my silence.I need a clam place. I need peace. I need to function- like me.

8 comments:

Vijitha Valsalan said...

:-O
That's baaad.... Real bad!

Vinitha said...

Gosh! That sounds terrible. Even I hate noises. I am the kind who'd get pissed off if a song playing in someone's room manages to reach my ears! Can't imagine SDM in shambles. Hope things get better by Pratigam? Anyways, tough luck Sam :(
Hold on....

Susan Deborah said...

Sometimes we get used to things so much that we cannot function without them. But still I am sorry for you. i can imagine the auditory stress that you are undergoing. One has to develop defense mechanisms.

I like the concept of this blog: "in a jiffy." I can think of many instances when the word 'jiffy' is used.

Glad that you have started again. I always used to look out for your posts but now on it will come.

Best wishes with this relatively brand new blog.

Joy always,
Susan

Srinidhi said...

Firstly loved the title of your blog.:-)

My 'Grief in silence' is exactly opposite to yours. I stay at a place where you can hear the rustle of the leaves even during the daytime.The sounds are all natural...from frogs croaking to insects singing:)sometimes you get really bored of all this and want to stay at a different place.Perhaps such is life...the grass indeed looks greener on the other side.
Nice write up btw.

Sameera said...

@Vijitha and Vinitha
Yep.. its that bad. Hopefully things will be much better during Pratigam.

@Susan
Glad you are finally here. =]

@Srinidhi
Thank you.
Yep.. agree "Grass indeed looks greener on the other side."
Wow.. looks like you live in a beautiful place. Natural Sounds..just love them!

Srinidhi said...

@Sameera....I stay in an Army colony.Its far from the city but don't mind travelling everyday considering you come back home to a calm and peaceful atmosphere after a hard day's work.:)

Vishal Raj said...

Nice. Thanks.

Gaurav Rathi said...

I thank SDMIMD for making me habitual to read in environment full of noises...which i used to hate most...Constant drilling and hammering for past 6 months and now also its continuing...

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